So, all of these years in academia and beyond; researching, exploring and elaborating around concepts of dualism, multiplicity, quantum physics and coexistence – I have fundamentally denied my own Other, my Shadow.
In her small conversation room, furnished with only two big armchairs, a side table with mansize tissues and seemingly inappropriate posters plastering the walls, my newly appointed therapist introduced me to Shadow.
I was speechless for several minutes, shocked by my ignorance and obtuseness. How could I have missed that? Of course I know of my rather judgemental conscience, which houses a part of my brain and infiltrates my thoughts, behaviour and actions. But this Shadow.., is something else. It has fought for attention for so long, it has now externalised away from my body into an observer, not only owning but also controlling my conscience. It’s haunting me.
I look over my shoulder as if to acknowledge it’s existence. Where are you? How can I get to know you? Can we make peace?
Can I use my mind’s eye to see you?
Say ‘Hello’.
Form&Fika 